


If You Be My Star, I'll Be Your Sky

by corruptedkid



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 23:25:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12781914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corruptedkid/pseuds/corruptedkid
Summary: Gerard swore that leaving Jersey for college wouldn't change their relationship, but Frank couldn't help wondering how long it would take before Gerard truly left him behind.





	If You Be My Star, I'll Be Your Sky

**Author's Note:**

> title from [boats and birds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hn4EIv1-uz0) by gregory and the hawk.
> 
> this is sadder than i intended it to be but whatever we're all here for the angst right

It was a clear night, with not even a trace of fog to blot out the stars. They shone bright against the inky black sky, stretching endlessly into the distance. Frank laid on his back and let it all wash over him, drinking in the sight and never blinking, never taking his eyes away. There was something mesmerizing about the stars, like if he connected them into the right picture, he could find the secrets of the universe hidden away. He could find a miracle.

He could really do with a miracle right now.

Gerard’s fingers were laced with his, and the silence between them was heavy. Neither of them had said a word in what felt like forever. Frank was content for things to stay that way. He wished he could freeze this moment in time, when they were together and happy with nothing standing in their way. He wished the sunrise would never come.

As if on cue, Gerard squeezed his hand. “I’m gonna miss you,” he said softly.

Frank said nothing. He would miss Gerard, too; that much was so obvious it went without saying. There weren’t enough words in the world to say how much he would miss Gerard. He might as well not speak at all.

He didn’t really trust himself to, anyway. His eyes were stinging a little too much for that.

“I’m gonna be back for Thanksgiving,” Gerard said. “And Christmas. And as many weekends as I can afford.”

Frank said nothing.

“I promise,” said Gerard.

Frank let go of Gerard’s hand to scrub at his face, silently cursing himself.

Gerard sat up. “Hey,” he whispered. “Everything’s gonna be okay, We can still text all the time, even when I’m not here.”

Frank kept his mouth clamped shut, willing himself not to cry. God damn it, he wasn’t going to fucking cry on his last night with Gerard. 

“Frankie, say something. Please.”

“Don’t,” said Frank, his voice wobbling. “I can’t.”

Gerard wrapped an arm around Frank’s shoulder, rubbing his back softly. “This isn’t our last night,” he said quietly. “Don’t you go thinking it is. We’ve talked about this.”

They had. Multiple times. Gerard had promised things between them wouldn’t change, as if going off to art school and starting a new life wasn’t in and of itself a change. He could try, but things would be different. Frank knew it. He’d find some beautiful creative that he could connect with on a deeper level, or maybe just a pretty face, and Frank would become a blip in the distance. Insignificant. 

Like one star in a vast sea of constellations.

“Baby, look at me.”

Frank reluctantly let his gaze flick over to Gerard.

He looked so fucking beautiful, it made Frank’s heart ache. He always did, but under the starlight, he was a masterpiece. Too good for Frank. Too good to keep.

“I love you,” he said, and the sting in Frank’s eyes became an all-out burn. “Nobody else, okay? I want you. Just you.” He hugged Frank, not commenting on the tears that streaked down Frank’s cheeks. “Nothing’s gonna change that. I swear, I’m gonna be in love with you ‘til the day I die, and nobody’s ever gonna take that away from us.”

“What if it’s not a person?” Frank croaked. 

“What?”

“What if it’s not a person?” Frank asked again, wiping his eyes. “What if the distance gets to be too much? Or you get too busy with school? Or you find out your life there is so good, I stop,” he swallowed around the lump in his throat, “I stop mattering as much?”

“Never,” Gerard said fiercely. He squeezed Frank closer to him and didn’t let go. “Never ever. I won’t let it.”

“But…”

“But nothing. I won’t let that happen.”

Frank felt like he was breaking in two. One half of him wanted to believe Gerard with an almost savage desperation, to cling onto every promise and not let it go until the very end. But the other half knew that there would be an end, and it would be better to prepare for it than to let it take him by surprise. There would be something. A boy, a girl, a change of heart, a change of mind, anything. 

The real world was too cruel to let their story play out happily.

But the worst part was, Frank could never hold it against him. Above all else, he wanted Gerard to be happy, even if it meant getting his heart broken in the process.

“You gotta believe me, Frankie,” Gerard said, his voice tinged with sadness. “That’s the only way this is gonna work.”

Frank knew. God, he fucking knew, and he wanted to believe. He wanted to dive in without a second thought. But that tiny voice of reason - or was it a voice of sabotage? - kept whispering in the back of his mind, canceling out every one of Gerard’s promises. 

“All the same stuff could happen to you,” said Gerard. “Maybe you’ll be the one to lose interest. Maybe you’ll find someone new. But I don’t think that’ll happen.” He leaned in to press his lips to Frank’s forehead, a spark of warmth in the cold night. “I trust you. I just need you to trust me back.”

“I do trust you,” Frank managed. He didn’t really think Gerard would cheat on him; that was one of his more irrational fears. 

“Trust me to stay,” Gerard whispered, and, yeah. That was what Frank was worried about. 

Gerard’s fingertips settled beneath Frank’s chin, lifting his head to look up at the sky. “Look,” he said. “I know it’s cliche, but whenever we’re apart, we can always look up at the same sky.” Frank could hear the smile in his voice. “It’ll always remind me of you ‘cause it’s so beautiful.”

Frank choked on a sob.

Gerard pulled him in closer, and Frank finally allowed himself to be bundled up in the warmth of his arms, the softness and safety of a love made tangible. “As long as the stars are shining, I’ll be loving you,” Gerard murmured. “As long as they’re still here, I’m still here.”

Frank drew in a shuddery breath. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

Frank looked up to the stars, searching for a miracle, a sign that would allow him to believe.

The stars twinkled back in silence.

Frank exhaled slowly.

“Okay,” he said. 

He buried his face in Gerard’s shoulder, breathing in the scent of him and committing it to memory. This wouldn’t be their last night. He had to believe it, or he’d drive himself crazy. As long as the stars still shone, Gerard would be there.

And Frank would be right there with him.


End file.
